bookmark_borderApril Ajoy is a bully

I came across the below Instagram post which, to put it bluntly, really pisses me off:

I am not sure what Ajoy means by “temper tantrums.” It does not constitute a “temper tantrum” for people to express a view that differs from her own. Evangelicals may be opposed to pride month, and may indeed be expressing that opposition. They may even be expressing their opposition in a vehement and passionate manner. But expressing opposition to something, no matter how vehemently or passionately, does not constitute a “temper tantrum.”

It’s ironic that Ajoy ends her post by writing, “You’re just a bully,” because in reality, it is Ajoy who is the bully. It is the epitome of bullying to characterize beliefs that differ from one’s own as “temper tantrums.”

If Ajoy disagrees with the views of evangelicals regarding pride month, then she needs to actually argue against those views, rather than insulting, ridiculing, and dismissing those views as “temper tantrums.”

A differing perspective is a differing perspective, not a “temper tantrum.”

Making things even worse, the comments on Ajoy’s post anger me as much as the post itself.

“They eat pork and then hate on LGBT people,” writes a stuck-up, contemptuous jerk called downtoearthqueen. “They literally pick and choose which OT laws they believe Jesus fulfilled.”

Well, excuse me for breathing. I absolutely despise this contemptuous use of the word “they,” which is ubiquitous in posts and comments from people on the left-hand side of the political spectrum. This usage indicates that the person views people who are different from them as “less-than,” as things to gossip about and analyze, as opposed to actual people with thoughts and feelings. It is infuriating and enraging.

A commentator named Sandi Joy repeats the same infuriating use of the word “they” when she asks “that they stop using Veterans as a pawn in their bigotry.” And then she ridicules people whose views differ from hers with the infantile “OuR vEtErANs OnLy GeT oNe DaY” and “trooooops.”

What is so incredibly infuriating about Ajoy’s post and the comments on it, is not the views themselves (although these are certainly wrong), but rather the way in which Ajoy and the commentators express their views. Instead of simply expressing their perspectives, they express contempt towards those who feel differently. Instead of making counterarguments, they mock and ridicule. Enough already. This behavior hurtful and mean. And then, making things even worse, these very same people, in the same breath that they express contempt towards people who are different from them, claim that the targets of their contempt are bullies. Not realizing that the truth is the exact opposite. Not realizing that in reality, the bullies are themselves.

In conclusion:

If you characterize other people’s perspectives as “temper tantrums,” you are a bully.

If you treat other people as objects to gossip about and analyze – “they” do this, “they” do that – you are a bully.

If you caricature other people’s opinions with the puerile alternation between capital and lowercase letters and deliberate misspellings of words, you are a bully.

No, April. Evangelicals are not bullies. It is you and your mindless, sycophantic followers who are bullies.

P.S. I have no idea what you are “tired” about, given that your beliefs are shared by the entire political establishment, media establishment, and all major sports teams, companies, and brands. It is posts like yours that make me exasperated, demoralized, mentally exhausted, and, yes, tired. You have nothing to be tired about. I do.

bookmark_borderThoughts on the article, “Avoiding the Last Straw in Cases of Bullying”

I came across this article, titled “Avoiding the ‘Last Straw’ in Cases of Bullying,” by Joni E Johnston Psy.D. in Psychology Today. The article explains how professionals can intervene with victims of bullying to prevent the victims from becoming bullies themselves. 

What struck me about this article was that it places the responsibility for preventing bullying on the victims, rather than on the original bullies. The article outlines the interviewing, questioning, and interventions that bullying victims should be subjected to, while failing to advocate that bullies be subjected to any type of consequences for their behavior. 

“Let’s pretend that a school counselor is concerned that a bullied teen might become violent to get revenge,” the article hypothesizes. “They call in a threat assessment professional to conduct an interview.” The article discusses the types of questions that should be asked during the interview and encourages adults to “intervene early,” to develop “an appropriate intervention plan,” to provide “comprehensive, compassionate care,” and to “guide them toward healthier, nonviolent coping mechanisms.” Johnston also characterizes bullying victims who are angry about their bullying as having an “aggressive behavior problem.”

But bullying victims do not deserve to be grilled by a threat assessment professional. Bullying victims do not need intervention. They do not need “care.” They do not need to be guided towards different coping mechanisms. Being angry that one has been bullied is not a medical problem, it is not a psychological problem, and it is not a behavior problem. It is completely justified. By targeting victims for intervention, Johnston is treating victims as if they are the ones who have done something wrong. But victims haven’t done anything wrong; bullies have. It is the bullies, not their victims, who have an aggressive behavior problem. And it is the bullies, not their victims, who should be subjected to intervention.

The article discusses the personal characteristics of bullying victims that allegedly make them more likely to turn into bullies. For example, victims who “are socially awkward,” and who lack “protective factors, such as abstract thinking abilities, empathy, and self-regulation skills.” But it is wrong of Johnston to scrutinize victims’ personal characteristics at all, because this sends the message that victims are somehow to blame for being bullied, due to a lack of positive traits and skills. In reality, the only person to blame for bullying is the bully. It is the bully, not the victim, who should have their personal characteristics subjected to scrutiny.

The article lists potential events that could trigger a bullying victim to turn into a bully, including:

  • A new, severe bullying incident that feels like the “last straw”
  • Seeing their bullies receive acclaim or reward, which feels profoundly unjust
  • Feeling publicly humiliated by their bullies
  • Perceiving that adults have failed to protect them or take the bullying seriously

It is interesting that by listing the potential triggers above, Johnston is actually admitting that the things that cause a victim to turn into a bully are entirely within the control of the adults in the situation. This further supports the idea that the burden of change shouldn’t be placed on the bullying victim. If adults actually handled bullying correctly – namely by punishing the bully – then no one would have to worry about bullying victims turning into bullies.

Going down the list of triggering incidents: if adults actually punish bullies significantly, including by removing them permanently from the environment if necessary, then bullies will not be in a position to perpetrate any additional bullying incidents or to publicly humiliate their victims. If institutions don’t bestow acclaim or rewards on bullies, then victims won’t have to see their bullies receive acclaim or rewards. And if adults protect victims and take bullying seriously, then victims will not perceive that adults have failed to do these things. 

In other words… instead of providing “care” to victims to help them cope with seeing their bullies receive acclaim and rewards, maybe we should, I don’t know, not give acclaim or rewards to bullies. Maybe the reason why seeing a bully receive acclaim and rewards “feels profoundly unjust” is because it is profoundly unjust. 

In conclusion, the approach recommended in this article makes victims the target of intervention and places the onus of change on them, when in reality, it is the bullies themselves who should be subjected to interventions such as interviews with threat assessment professionals and scrutiny of their personal characteristics. Victims of bullying don’t need care, they don’t need monitoring, and they don’t need to be guided toward better coping mechanisms. They need, and deserve, justice. Instead of subjecting victims to various interventions in an effort to help them cope better with being bullied, our society needs to actually punish the bullies. 

Returning to the title of the article, the way to avoid the “last straw” in cases of bullying is to avoid committing it, and to prevent bullies from doing so. This means for our society to punish bullies severely, to unanimously condemn them, to refrain from giving them awards of any sort, and to prevent them from committing any more bullying incidents by any means necessary, including by removing them entirely from the environment.

One final note: I noticed that throughout the article, the author equates seeking revenge with becoming a bully. A few examples: 

  • “some seek revenge and become bullies themselves”
  • “the victim’s internal world differentiates those who seek revenge from those who don’t”
  • “being frequently bullied ups the odds for a desire for revenge”
  • “it’s the latter type—this angry rumination—that fuels the desire for retaliation”
  • “a bullied teen might become violent to get revenge”

But seeking revenge and becoming a bully are not even remotely the same thing. For a victim to seek revenge on their bully does not make them a bully; it makes them someone who defends themselves and stands up for themselves. Taking revenge on a bully is completely justified, because bullies deserve punishment. For a victim to turn into a bully, on the other hand, involves harming innocent people who have done nothing wrong, which is unjustified. Harming the original bully (justified) and harming innocent people (unjustified) are two completely different things. 

Just as Johnston ignores the distinction between justified and unjustified violence by equating revenge with becoming a bully, she ignores the fact that bullies deserve to be the targets of intervention while victims do not. To lump all violence together goes along with the mentality of placing the burden on the victim to fix the situation. Johnston clearly values preventing violence and making schools safer, which are worthy goals, but she is ignoring something even more important: the entire concept of fairness versus unfairness, justice versus injustice, right versus wrong. 

Perhaps this article isn’t about preventing victims from turning into bullies, after all. Perhaps the entire article is actually about preventing victims from taking revenge on their bullies, something that Johnston inaccurately characterizes as victims turning into bullies. If this is the case, then not only do I object to the idea of placing the burden for change on victims, but I object to the entire goal. For victims to take revenge on their bullies isn’t something that should be prevented at all, because revenge is exactly what bullies deserve.

bookmark_borderThe return of the bills whose sole purpose is to hurt people as badly as possible…

I could not believe my eyes when I saw this. The Virginia bills whose sole purpose is to hurt people as badly as possible are back. Governor Glenn Youngkin has seven days in which to either veto or sign them.

I heard about these bills through the social media posts of people / organizations who are fighting against them, and have not read any coverage of them in the news media, but the mere thought of what the news articles might be saying about them makes me sick to my stomach. The Instagram post linked above says, “the left is pushing hard for [Youngkin] to sign these bills.” The idea that anyone would push for these bills is absolutely sickening, and it makes me sick to my stomach to imagine the arguments that proponents might be making in favor of them.

I cannot wrap my head around why someone would think that either of these bills is a good idea and should be enacted into law, particularly after the indescribably horrible atrocities that have been committed unendingly and relentlessly over the past four years. It boggles my mind to think that anyone would favor inflicting additional suffering on people who have already been tortured by the infliction of unbearable, indescribable, relentless pain. “Left” isn’t even the correct term for someone who supports these bills, in my opinion. The desire to make the world as bad a place as possible, and to inflict the maximum possible amount of pain on other people, can’t accurately be categorized as a political ideology at all. A person who considers this to be a worthy goal, which must be the case for anyone who supports bills HB 812 and SB 517, is so filled with brutality, cruelty, meanness, and nastiness, and so completely devoid of morality and devoid of a soul, that such a person doesn’t even deserve to be categorized as a person at all.

“I’m so sick of this,” wrote one commenter on the Instagram post.

“Unbelievable,” wrote another. “I spent 4 years in Virginia and I loved it there. It’s been a shame to see legislation like this, the desecration/removal of monuments, etc..”

Amen. My thoughts are the same as these comments, but multiplied by 100.

I am so incredibly sick of things like bills HB 812 and SB 517. So, so incredibly sick of it. More sick of it than I ever thought it was possible for a human being to be sick of anything. My soul has been beaten down by the brutal, cruel, mean-spirited nastiness that is bills HB 812 and SB 517. Brutal, cruel, mean-spirited nastiness that just keeps occurring again and again, relentlessly. Where the people who hold 100% of the power just keep hurting the people who hold no power, as badly as they possibly can. For no other reason than inflicting pain and suffering. As if inflicting pain and suffering on people is somehow noble, or honorable, or morally good. I am so incredibly sick of it that there are no words to convey the extent of my exhaustion. It is soul-crushing.

To say that legislation like this, and desecration/removal of monuments, are a shame is an understatement. Legislation like this, and desecration/removal of monuments, completely defeat the purpose of Virginia. They completely defeat the purpose of the US. They completely defeat the purpose of life, because they erase from the world the very things that make life worth living.

The actions that have been committed, and that continue to be committed, are absolutely soul-crushing. People who support bills HB 812 and SB 517, and/or any policies even remotely like them, have inflicted indescribable agony. My soul is sick, aching, and in pain.

This is the email that I sent to Governor Youngkin about these bills:

Dear Governor Youngkin:
I am writing to express my opposition to bills HB 812 and SB 517. In my opinion, these bills are mean-spirited, destructive, hurtful, and without any redeeming value. I am on the autism spectrum, and my special interest is history. I really admire Confederate generals such as Robert E. Lee, and Confederate history is extremely important to me. I have been severely hurt by the attacks on history and statues that have taken place over the past few years, and these bills are just a continuation of the same attacks. It is extremely upsetting to me that these bills have a chance of becoming law. I feel that these bills have no purpose other than hurting people who love Confederate history, such as myself. I have already suffered tremendous pain due to the relentless and cruel attacks on Confederate history and statues, and inflicting additional pain on people like me, as bills HB 812 and SB 517 would do, is the absolute last thing anyone needs.
Therefore, I respectfully urge you to please, please veto these mean-spirited and hurtful bills.
Sincerely,
Marissa

bookmark_border“F*** your dead” – the atrocity done to the Lion of Atlanta

It’s been several years since the atrocity that was done to the Lion of Atlanta, but I saw this Instagram post about it recently, and I felt the need to share my thoughts.

“F*** your dead,” wrote the excuses for human beings who committed this atrocity. And of course, “BLM.” 

The excuses for human beings also crossed out the word “Confederate” from the phrase “unknown Confederate dead” on the monument. 

Translation:

F*** anyone who differs from us in any way. F*** anyone who differs from the norm, from the majority.

Only our lives matter. No one else’s. No one’s feelings, perspective, or viewpoint matters, other than ours. 

Anyone who differs from us in any way needs to be erased from existence, as if they never lived at all.

Only bland, mundane people who conform to social norms and mindlessly comply with authority should be allowed to exist. 

The only people who deserve to be honored, memorialized, or respected are those who look and think like us.

Those are the attitudes of the excuses for human beings who committed the atrocity towards the Lion of Atlanta. 

And those attitudes are the antithesis of diversity, the antithesis of inclusion, the antithesis of tolerance. 

I say: 

F*** you, excuses for human beings who wrote these things.

F*** your contempt, hatred, and intolerance for anyone who differs from you in any way. 

F*** your bigotry.

F*** your authoritarianism.

You demonstrate that supporters of the BLM movement are the real bigots, the real racists. 

Our society should have unanimously and unequivocally condemned this movement the instant its slogan was found graffitied, alongside profane insults, on the Lion of Atlanta. 

Yet despicably, our society did the opposite. 

Society’s embrace of the movement responsible for this and countless similar atrocities is an injustice worse than words are able to convey; it is the worst injustice imaginable. 

bookmark_border“I’m going to re-create it just so that it can get melted down again”

You’re going to inflict excruciating pain on other people, just because they are different from you? Just because they are different from the majority?

You’re going to actively and deliberately harm people who are already worse off than you are?

You are going to take an action that has no purpose other than to express hatred for people who are different?

Why, exactly, do you consider that to be a good thing?

bookmark_border“The flag of traitors and losers”

“The flag of traitors.”

Yes, the flag of people who thought for themselves, and resisted authority, as opposed to practicing obedience, compliance, and mindless conformity.

I’m not sure why you consider that to be a bad thing.

“The flag of losers.”

Yes, the flag of people that you oppressed and harmed. That flag of people that you actively inflicted pain on, using your power, strength, and wealth. The flag of people whose land you invaded. The flag of people whose rights you violated. The flag of people that you forced to remain part of the same country against their will.

I’m not sure how that makes those people and their flag bad, and you somehow good.

The fact that you would call the Confederates “traitors” and “losers,” as if these things are insults, means that you are a bully, a bigot, a conformist, and an authoritarian.

The fact that the Confederates “lost” does not reflect badly on them. It reflects badly on you.

bookmark_border“I love breaking those things”

Dear “John Catdog”…

So you “love” destroying everything that makes life worth living?

You “love” inflicting excruciating and unbearable pain on people who’ve done nothing to deserve it?

You “love” bullying and tormenting people merely because they are different from the majority?

And if you really do love the things that I’ve listed above… why on earth would you brag about it?

Both John Catdog and the imbecile who “liked” his idiotic comment are despicable excuses for human beings who should be ashamed of themselves.

bookmark_border“Are we the only country the places monuments to TRAITORS???”

So said an idiotic comment that I saw on Facebook the other day.

In other words…

Are we the only country that places monuments to PEOPLE WHO THINK FOR THEMSELVES???

Are we the only country that places monuments to PEOPLE WHO STAND UP TO AUTHORITY???

Are we the only country that places monuments to PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT FROM THE MAJORITY IN ANY WAY???

Oh no, not that!!!

God forbid that a country put up monuments to people who are at all unique, distinctive, or remarkable.

God forbid that a country put up monuments to people who are, you know, actually worthy of being honored with monuments.

God forbid that a country put up monuments honoring anything other than compliance, obedience, and mindless conformity.

In reality, the people that this idiot considers “traitors” are not only abundantly worthy of being honored with monuments; they are the only people who are.

bookmark_borderDavid Trone believes that people like me shouldn’t be allowed to exist

Horrific, agonizing pain. My limbs feel like lead, my stomach feels sick, my lungs feel like they’re filled with rocks. I am crushed beneath an avalanche of grief, sadness, and anger. The agony is like a knife that stabs me in the heart. The entire world is dark, horrifying, disgusting. It feels as if my soul is being eviscerated, as if I will never experience happiness again. 

This is something I’ve experienced hundreds of times over the past four years. 

In this most recent instance, this pain was directly caused by Rep. David Trone, who despicably sponsored a bill * – known as HR 7474, the Robert E. Lee Monument Removal Act – which would turn the Antietam (Sharpsburg) Battlefield into yet another thing whose entire purpose is to send the message that people like me shouldn’t be allowed to exist. Yet another place in which I am not welcome, yet another area of society in which I cannot participate, yet another part of our physical world that would be altered in order to ensure that I cannot feel represented or included. 

Despicably, Trone said of his act of vicious cruelty and aggression: “I thank my colleagues for joining me in this effort to ensure Antietam honors our nation’s victory over the Confederacy rather than memorializes historical figures who fought to break up the Union and restrict fundamental human rights.”

As if forcing people to remain part of the same country against their will somehow doesn’t restrict fundamental human rights. As if inflicting on another human the type of pain that I described in the first paragraph of this blog post somehow doesn’t restrict fundamental human rights. As if decreeing that only one side in a war deserves to be honored, only one perspective acknowledged, only one story told, only one viewpoint reflected, somehow doesn’t restrict fundamental human rights. 

To “ensure Antietam honors our nation’s victory over the Confederacy” completely defeats the purpose of even preserving the battlefield as a historical site, both because the entire concept of a battle requires that there be two opposing sides, and also because there is no benefit in something existing when the very attribute that made it beautiful, distinctive, and remarkable has been destroyed. 

David Trone would like Antietam to be transformed from a historical site honoring a battle and the soldiers who fought there, into yet another monument to authoritarianism, compliance, and mindless conformity, into yet another piece of propaganda designed to send the message that any person who differs from the mainstream, from the norm, from the majority in any way, has no right to exist. 

As if sending this message somehow doesn’t restrict fundamental human rights.

David Trone’s decision to introduce this bill is an attack on me as a human being. It is an attack on me because I am different, because I do not fit in, because I see the world differently from most people, because I have different interests and passions and values and ways of thinking than the majority. Because I am different, the Robert E. Lee Monument represents me. It makes me feel included. It makes me feel that people like me are allowed to exist. By attempting to remove it, David Trone is attempting to turn the Antietam Battlefield into yet another instrument in society’s war against people like me. Yet another thing that used to make me feel represented and included, now turned into a cudgel to beat me with. Yet another tool for society to use to hammer home the brutal and intolerant message that I do not deserve to exist because I am different. 

Tell me again, why does America need another monument to authoritarianism, compliance, and mindless conformity? Why does America need yet another memorial honoring the same bland, mundane, and meaningless values that people are already bombarded with every day, in every facet of life? 

Tell me again, what is the point of the Antietam battlefield even existing, if its existence does nothing other than to stab my heart, punch me in the gut, stomp on my face, and inflict horrific and agonizing pain?

Pardon my French, but fuck David Trone. He doesn’t care a whit about fundamental human rights. If he did, he would campaign passionately against vaccine mandates, gun control, the Durham-Humphrey Amendment, and the use of full-body scanners at airports, to give just a few examples. Each of these policies restrict fundamental human rights vastly more severely than anyone from the Confederacy ever did.

How dare David Trone pontificate about fundamental human rights while simultaneously going out of his way to violate them?

How dare he go about his life as if nothing is wrong, while his actions inflict horrific and agonizing pain on other people?

It is mentally exhausting and demoralizing that acts of vicious cruelty and aggression, such as this one perpetrated by David Trone and his 6 co-sponsors, continue to happen. I am tired, I am angry, and I am exhausted. I don’t deserve for this pain to be inflicted on me, and David Trone has no right to inflict it. Despicably, he pontificates about “fundamental human rights” while actively violating mine. 

I learned from a quick Google search that David Trone has a wife and several children. How would he like it if his wife and children were beaten, strangled, dismembered, burned, and had their limbs sawed off and their bodies cut to pieces as he was forced to watch? That might sound sadistic, outlandish, excessive, ridiculous… but it has been my reality for the past four years. Perhaps if this happened, David Trone would experience a tiny fraction of the pain that I’ve experienced. Maybe then he’d have a shred of empathy for the people he’s harmed. Maybe then he’d work towards enacting policies that would compensate me for the pain I’ve suffered, rather than actively inflicting even more of it.

* as well as 6 other members of Congress who co-sponsored this bill

bookmark_borderMy thoughts on Virginia bills HB812 and SB517: Hurting other people is the opposite of moral righteousness

For the past four years, our society has carried out action after action with no purpose other than to hurt me. And not just to hurt me, but to hurt me as badly as possible. There is nothing positive about any of these actions, no reason for them, no way in which they make the world better, no way in which any person benefits from them, other than people who value, for its own sake, the suffering of those who are different from them. Of course, the people who take these actions do not know me personally, and therefore their intention is not to hurt me specifically, by name. But their intention is to hurt people like me: people who are different from them and different from the majority.

A self-righteous post about Black History Month that I recently saw on social media pompously characterized such actions as “changes that benefit us all.” But nothing could be further from the truth. These changes do not benefit me; they harm me. They have caused, and continue to cause, pain that is so excruciating and so unbearable that it cannot be put into words. These changes have involved the destruction of everything that makes my life worth living. To characterize the destruction of what makes my life worth living as “benefitting us all” is to characterize me as somehow not a person.

Virginia bills HB812 and SB517, filed recently, are yet additional examples of this demoralizing trend. 

It is incomprehensible to me that anyone would think that it is a good thing to inflict as much pain as possible on other people. But clearly, our society as a whole thinks exactly this, because individuals, groups, organizations, companies, and governments at every level continue to do this, and continue to be praised for doing so. For reasons that are utterly incomprehensible, people who have already inflicted excruciating and unbearable pain on me, and who advocate for even more pain to be inflicted, hold the moral high ground in the eyes of society. 

What does it say about me, that hurting me as badly as possible is considered the measure of moral righteousness in our society? 

Do I really deserve a life of repeated and endless torment because I dress differently from most people, talk differently, move differently, do my hair differently, think differently, perceive the world differently, experience emotions differently, have different interests?

Do I really deserve to be morally condemned because I liked to organize and rank my toys, as opposed to engaging in role-playing and imaginative play? Because I wasn’t able to learn how to ride a bike, or hit a baseball with a bat, or keep a conversation going? Because I enjoy writing and drawing and reading and making paper dolls, as opposed to socializing?

For the “crime” of loving historical figures as opposed to the human beings that I know in real life, do I really deserve the death penalty?

It seems that our society has decided precisely that.

For as long as I can remember, I have been criticized by others. I’ve been criticized for the way that I talk, the words that I use, my tone of voice, the way that I stand, the way that I sit, the way that I play, the clothes that I wear, the shoes that I wear, the way I wear my socks, the hairstyles that I wear, the way I wash my hair, the way I wash my face, the way I put sunscreen on, the fact that I don’t socialize enough, the fact that I told a friend I had plans when she invited me to her pool, the fact that I brought a stuffed animal with me to a school assembly… the list is endless. 

Every time that I am criticized, it hurts. It inflicts pain on me. Growing up, every time that I was criticized, I hid the fact that it hurt. I smiled, nodded, apologized when I hadn’t done anything wrong, and pretended that everything was fine when it wasn’t. Other people had all of the power, and I had none, so I felt that I had no choice. 

But I didn’t deserve to be hurt. I didn’t deserve to be criticized. And I don’t deserve to be hurt or criticized now, either. My body and mind work differently from other people’s, and there is nothing wrong with that. I am just as good as other people, my wishes and preferences and happiness just as important, my perspective just as valid. 

I don’t fit in with other people. I am a rebel, a non-conformist, an underdog. That’s why I identify with the Confederacy. That’s why historical figures are so important to me. I am the Confederacy, and the Confederacy is me. 

When someone hurts the Confederacy, that person hurts me. Every time that a statue is vandalized, torn down, or removed. Every time that a historical artifact is destroyed or damaged. Every time that a holiday is canceled. Every time that a building, street, or cemetery is renamed. Every time that a license plate featuring a historical figure is recalled, or a historical organization stripped of its tax-exempt status, as the despicable bills known as HB812 and SB517 would do. Every time that a person even suggests doing any of these things, or introduces a piece of legislation that would do any of these things, or insinuates that doing any of these things is even remotely good.

All of these things hurt me. All of these things inflict harm and pain.

Upon hearing about Virginia bills HB812 and SB517, my stomach feels sick. My chest feels tight. My limbs feel heavy, as if they are made of lead. My very soul feels as if it’s being eviscerated. My entire being is torn apart, my mind inundated with a mixture of horror, grief, and rage so excruciating that it cannot be put into words. I’ve experienced this pain again and again over the past four years, every time that someone hurts the Confederacy and therefore me. I’ve experienced this pain again and again as a direct result of other people’s actions.

For reasons that I cannot comprehend, our society considers it morally good for people to cause this suffering.

I’m exhausted and my heart hurts. Why do people think that it is good to do this to another human being? I’m tired of having to explain myself, tired of being called a racist, tired of being called ignorant, disgusting, gross, privileged, entitled. I’m tired of being ridiculed, my words and my perspective and my very existence being treated as a joke.

Most of all, I’m tired of society treating the people who are hurting me as holding the moral high ground, and me as the one deserving of condemnation. 

It is the ultimate in moral bankruptcy to view hurting another person as morally righteous, while viewing the person being hurt as lacking in character and in need of change, education, and correction. 

People who have families, intimacy, friendships, belonging, and social status have decided to take actions, again and again, that serve no purpose other than to beat up on those who have none of those things. Unable to relate to, or be accepted by, other human beings, I’ve treasured historical figures and statues as the only things that make my life worth living. Only to be forced to watch as people who have no idea what it’s like to struggle in the way that I have, systematically obliterate these historical figures from the world, bit by excruciating bit, in the most vicious and brutal manner imaginable, all while portraying themselves as “oppressed” and their victims as “privileged.” All while portraying themselves as fighting for justice, for freedom, for equality. All while claiming that their despicable actions are being done in the name of diversity, equity, and inclusion. And all while being looked upon as morally righteous in the eyes of society.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

I am the one who is truly disadvantaged, and the destroyers of everything that makes life worth living are the ones who are truly privileged, benefitting from unearned advantages that I don’t have access to. 

Hurting people who have done nothing wrong is the opposite of justice, the opposite of freedom, the opposite of equality. 

Hurting people who are different from the majority, merely by virtue of being different from the majority, is the opposite of diversity, the opposite of equity, and the opposite of inclusion.

Inflicting harm and pain, to the maximum extent that you possibly can, is the opposite of moral righteousness. 

All of this is so obvious that it shouldn’t need to be stated, but apparently it does. 

Our society has given the moral high ground to cowardly, sadistic bullies merely because they have the numbers, the influence, and the power. Their cruelty is treated as understandable at best, and noble at worst, when in reality it is none of these things. Society has decided to condemn me to a life of torment for the “crime” of being different.

People mindlessly repeat hackneyed platitudes such as the claim that I am “on the wrong side of history” or that “the arc of history bends towards justice.” As if how old or new an idea is, or how many people support it, has anything to do with whether it is right or wrong. (News flash: it doesn’t.)

Now I am 34, and I have been hurt far more than I ever deserved. I have done more than a lifetime’s worth of pretending that it was fine for other people to hurt me, and that people’s unacceptable words and actions were acceptable. I am not going to do this anymore.

Every time someone hurts the Confederacy, thereby hurting me, I am going to speak out.

I am going to state, forcefully and unequivocally, that their actions are unacceptable, even if I am the only person stating it.

I am going to speak the objective moral truth, even if I am the only one speaking it.

I am going to stand up for myself and for the Confederacy, even if I stand alone. That is the purpose of this blog.