Tag: bullying

bookmark_borderAn excellent response to an anti-statue bully

Posted on by Marissa

I came across the following comment on a social media post, and it is an absolutely excellent response to anti-statue bullies: 

“Hate and attack. That’s all you people know. Lack any intelligence to seek knowledge or understanding. Just hate and attack anyone or anything that doesn’t think like me. I am right and you are wrong and nothing can be said to make me think otherwise as my feelings count more than yours! That is the whole of you and those like you as seen by the rest of the world. Awful, hateful, spiteful people….exactly what you think you oppose!”

This comment hits the nail on the head. 100%. Spot-on. Exactly.

bookmark_borderExpressing a positive opinion about something is not “bootlicking”

Posted on by Marissa

This blog post falls under the category of “things that shouldn’t need to be stated, but apparently they do.”

The other day I was watching a YouTube video in which a doll collector criticized Mattel for laying off designers and other employees involved with the making of Barbie dolls. This YouTuber ranted at length about people who have defended Mattel, repeatedly characterizing these people’s opinions as “bootlicking.”

This reminded me of a situation a while back, in which a Democrat politician characterized a political opponent as “licking the boot” of Russia, because that political opponent failed to demonstrate sufficient enthusiasm about sending additional money to Ukraine.

Both situations make me angry. Expressing a positive opinion of something does not constitute “bootlicking” or “licking the boot.”

Expressing a positive opinion of Mattel is not “bootlicking.” It is expressing a positive opinion of Mattel.

Expressing support for Russia is not “licking the boot” any more than expressing support for Ukraine is. (Plus, the politician in question didn’t even express support for Russia; he merely questioned sending even more money to Ukraine, making the allegation of “licking the boot” even more preposterous.)

People are allowed to criticize Mattel for its layoffs, and people are allowed to feel that Mattel didn’t do anything wrong. People are allowed to support Ukraine, people are allowed to be neutral on the whole Russia / Ukraine conflict, and people are allowed to support Russia.

Usage of terms like “bootlicking” and “licking the boot” is predicated on the assumption that defending something, or expressing a positive opinion about something, is inherently bad. These terms imply that the very act of expressing a dissenting view is somehow pitiful or cowardly or ridiculous. Using such language is a way of presuming the truth of what you are trying to prove. It is both mean-spirited and intellectually dishonest.

People are allowed to have opinions that differ from yours. This shouldn’t exactly be a revolutionary concept. I’m sick and tired of people using pejorative and insulting language towards those who express dissenting opinions.

bookmark_borderLydia O’Connor, a despicable bully and bigot

Posted on by Marissa

There are no words that can adequately express the cruelty, nastiness, and immorality demonstrated by the despicable lump of flesh and bone that calls itself Lydia O’Connor:

“Trump Signs Order To Restore Inclusive and Diverse Monuments, Remove ‘Anti-America’ Ideology.”

Or perhaps:

“Trump Signs Order To Restore Monuments Signifying That People Who Are Different Actually Have a Right To Exist, Remove ‘Anti-America’ Ideology.”

There, Lydia. I fixed it for you. 

Needless to say, I did not read the entire article, because my mind and nervous system don’t have the resilience needed to handle such a traumatizing experience. Thanks to merely glimpsing the headline, my body is shaking with rage, my stomach is sick, and my chest feels like it’s being crushed in a vice.

This headline, and the accompanying article, are enormously harmful to me as an autistic person who has grown up being excluded, bullied, and different from the norm. The monuments that O’Connor sickeningly characterizes as “racist” are the monuments to people like me. They are monuments to people who are different. They are monuments to the entire concept of being different from the majority, resisting authority, rebelling against social norms, not fitting in, thinking for oneself. They are the monuments that enable a person like me to actually be accepted and included in society. They are the monuments that signify that I have a right to exist. 

But yeah, this is clearly racist.

Obviously, allowing people who are different from the norm to exist, is racist. 

It’s racist to honor a diverse range of viewpoints, stories, and perspectives, rather than only honoring those that conform to the dominant ideology.

It’s racist to accept and include people who are different.

Not.

This headline and article are completely unacceptable. And this is an understatement. In fact, anything negative that could possibly be said about this headline, article, and author would be an understatement, because no language has words adequate for the task of accurately describing such complete moral bankruptcy.

Racist monuments. 

Yup. Because for me to actually have a life worth living is “racist.”

Because allowing me to exist as an autistic person is “racist.”

No.

Wrong, Lydia.

Allowing people who are different form the norm to exist, is not racist.

This is obvious. It should not even need to be stated. It is, in fact, bizarre that it needs to be stated. It is bizarre that over the past five years, I have had to state this again and again, because despite how obvious it objectively is, it is clearly not obvious to a large percentage of the population. Even after five years of living through this hell, it is still both shocking and sickening beyond belief that an ideology has taken over this country which believes that allowing a person like me to exist, allowing a person like me to be accepted and included in society, is racist. 

I have a right to exist. My existing is not racist. Period. Full stop. End of story.

Thanks, Lydia, for completely destroying my morning. Just another attack on my very existence, one of hundreds, if not thousands, of such attacks that I’ve been subjected to for nearly five years now. I am so incredibly sick and tired of people thinking this way, speaking this way, writing this way. I am sick and tired of having to justify my existence again and again, of having to defend my very existence against claims that it is “racist.”

Lydia O’Connor is the epitome of a bigot and a bully with no mind, no soul, no capacity for independent thought, no empathy, and no tolerance for any perspectives other than her own. She and the Huffington Post have inflicted severe harm on me by writing and publishing this article and should be sued for the harm that they have caused. 

I have a right to exist. Statues like these have a right to exist. We are not racist. Period. Full stop. End of story.

bookmark_border“Darkness” – a poem by me

Posted on by Marissa

Another bully
Whose words cut me like knives
Through my laptop screen
Another bigot,
His perspective the only one that matters
Typing words
Whose sole purpose is to hurt,
To punish me
For the crime of being different.

The waves of darkness,
Which I’ve worked so hard to keep at bay,
Crash against the shore
Filling every crevice of my mind
Obliterating joy
Murdering hope
Until consciousness is nothing but pain
And existence nothing but darkness.

The same tightness in my chest
The lump in my throat,
The tears in my eyes
And heaviness in my limbs
That I’ve felt a thousand times
But each time, I remind myself,
The darkness recedes.
I’ve weathered the storm before
And I’ll weather it again.

3/25/25

bookmark_borderThe best thing to do is point and laugh…

Posted on by Marissa

Generally, I’m not a big advocate of pointing at people and laughing. Generally, I consider this a pretty mean thing to do. But honestly, I 100% agree with the below posts from Twitchy and the Firearms Policy Coalition:

I am so utterly sick and tired of Democrats and their hurtful and intolerant words and policies. I am so tired of being insulted, attacked, shamed and ridiculed. I am so tired of the vicious, nasty, and pompous condemnations of people who have done nothing wrong. I am tired of innocent people being hurt, and then when they express their hurt, treated as if they are the problem. I am tired of people violating the rights of others, and then acting as if they’ve done something positive, something that gives them a claim to the moral high ground. I am tired of the self-righteous intolerance, tired of the bigotry mischaracterized as virtue. I am tired of the hypocrisy, the inconsistency, the double standards, the lack of logic, and more than anything else, the lack of empathy.

They hurt us, and then criticize us for being hurt.

They anger us – by taunting, insulting, ridiculing, and attacking us – and then criticize us for being angry.

They violate our rights, and then criticize us for protesting (after they themselves have spent months and months engaging in the most violent and vicious protests imaginable).

They are cruel to us, and then accuse us of being cruel.

They exclude us for being different, and then accuse us of exclusion.

They engage in a campaign of systematic obliteration of all diversity from our world, and then pontificate about the importance of diversity.

They insult us because of our skin color, and then accuse us of being racist.

They condemn us for being “insurrectionists” and “traitors” – as if resisting authority is self-evidently pejorative – and then characterize themselves as “fighting back” and “the resistance.”

They have demonstrated, again and again, the most abject and appalling lack of empathy imaginable, and then accuse us of lacking empathy.

For so long, Democrats have pointed and laughed – and far worse – at people who have done nothing whatsoever to deserve such treatment. For so long, Democrats have piled on – inflicting additional pain and harm on people who are already hurting – and then acted as if this somehow constitutes moral virtue. It’s past time that they get a taste of their own medicine. Maybe then they will actually understand the magnitude, the severity, the sheer enormity, of harm that they have caused and the pain that they have inflicted.

bookmark_borderDear complete and utter loser…

Posted on by Marissa

“You’re human [trash can emoji] and your entire lineage is [poop emoji]. And you’re incredibly physically unattractive. Quite possibly one of the fugliest combinations of human genetics.”

This is literally a comment that I came across the other day when looking at pictures of the Lee-Jackson Day parade. The fact that someone would visit another person’s Instagram page and leave this comment is almost beyond belief. As is the fact that a person* would choose to “like” this comment.**

Unfortunately, that is exactly what happened. So, in order to ensure that such comments and “likes” do not go unanswered, I feel the need to respond. 

My first response to this comment is: …. says the person whose profile is set to private and whose profile picture is what looks like an obscene drawing of a man with grotesquely protruding private parts. What the hell right do you have to call another person “fugly” or physically unattractive, let alone “incredibly” so, when you have chosen such a hideous image to represent yourself, and when you are hiding your own physical appearance from any possibility of evaluation? 

My second response to this comment is: Why on earth would someone choose to visit another person’s Instagram page and leave such a comment? Just, why? I don’t get it. Why on earth, when I’m just trying to look at photos of parades and ceremonies honoring historical figures, do I have to keep coming across these types of comments, thereby ruining my day? I don’t deserve this, and neither do the people who make the posts on which comments like these get left. We aren’t doing anything wrong, we aren’t hurting anyone, we’ve already suffered unimaginable and indescribable pain due to a years-long, society-wide attempt to obliterate everything that makes our lives worth living, and yet you insist on hurting us further by leaving these types of comments. What could possibly be the benefit of doing this, for you or for anyone? There simply is none. We don’t deserve to be treated this way.

My third response to this comment is: Interesting, considering that you chose to visit someone’s Instagram page and leave such a comment. That’s kind of the definition of human trash, is it not? 

* A person whose own account has precisely zero posts, indicating that they have created an Instagram account solely for the purpose of inflicting harm and pain by reacting cruelly to other people’s posts, rather than actually creating meaningful content of their own. Which is about as messed up as it sounds.

** But I guess, given the state of the world that we live in, and given the atrocities that people have committed over the past five years with complete impunity, neither of these things should be surprising. 

bookmark_border“Belongs in the dumpster of history”

Posted on by Marissa

“Belongs in the dumpster of history,” you wrote, under a picture of one of the few things in the world that is beautiful and meaningful.

Yup, the idea that people who are different from you might actually have the right to exist “belongs in the dumpster of history.” Sounds reasonable. Makes perfect sense. Not. 

How could you see something magical, one of the few sources of happiness and joy that actually exist, and think that it belongs in a metaphorical “dumpster”?

But then I realized. You’ve never had to deal with the pain, the shame, of not fitting in. Of not being able to make friends. Of having everything you say, everything you wear, everything you do, criticized. Of being told that if only you changed the way you talked, dressed, stood, sat, moved, felt, thought, spent your time, then you would be healthy, and people would like you. You were never bullied and had your parents respond by telling you that you should stop wearing dresses and stop wearing your hair in pigtails, because then people would be less likely to bully you.

You’re not different. You don’t think for yourself. You follow social norms. You have friends. You fit in. You’re a bland, mundane person who is just like everyone else. 

You’ve never suffered. You’ve never felt pain. 

In fact, you’re not really a person at all, because if you were, you would have a soul, and if you had a soul, then you too would be filled with awe and wonder at the statue that is being built, rather than claiming that it belongs in a metaphorical “dumpster.”

You’re a lump of flesh and blood with no soul, no mind, and no capacity for independent thought. 

God forbid that people who are different from you exist. 

God forbid that people who are different from you be honored with monuments. 

Can’t have that. Can’t have any diversity allowed to exist in the world. Can’t have anything that actually makes life worth living. 

Clearly, in your eyes, only people like you have the right to exist, and anyone who is different deserves to be put into a metaphorical “dumpster.”

Without the Confederacy, history is bland and mundane, just a long tale of mindless, conformist people who are all the same, who all think the same, and who all do the same things. And what is the point of that? What is the point of studying that, honoring that, being interested in that? What is the point of living at all?

There is none.

The Confederacy is my special interest. The Confederacy is what makes my life worth living. The Confederacy is magical to me. It is the most beautiful thing in the world, and nothing else can compare. How could you, how dare you, how could you possibly consider my special interest to be something that belongs in a dumpster? 

in conclusion, I hope that you die a slow and painful death, and that once you’re gone no one remembers you. That’s what you deserve for being a mindless bully. That’s what you deserve for having the cruelty, nastiness, and utter moral bankruptcy to claim that my special interest “belongs in the dumpster of history.” In reality, you are the one who belongs in the dumpster of history. You have no empathy, no character, no mind, no capacity for independent thought, and no soul.

bookmark_border“If you plan to make content that isn’t the exact same content that I would make…. just don’t”

Posted on by Marissa

I recently came across a social media post that said the following:

“If you plan to make content on the distinctions between ODD and PDA* but gloss over the racial disparities and intersectional factors, just don’t.”

My response: Excuse me? Who the heck are you to tell me what type of content I can and cannot make?

The author of the post describes themselves as black, “moderate support needs,” and “agender and queer.” Perhaps belonging to demographic categories that qualify them as more “oppressed” than others gives this person a sense of moral superiority. Perhaps their membership in these socially favored demographic categories makes this person feel that they are in a position to determine what others are and are not allowed to do.

Guess what? If someone wishes to make content about the distinctions between ODD and PDA without going into the alleged racial disparities and intersectional factors, they have every right to do so. As a white, high-functioning, asexual autistic person, I have the right to voice my opinion just as much as you do. You have no right to tell other people what type of content they can and cannot make.

* ODD is the abbreviation for “oppositional defiant disorder,” and PDA is the abbreviation for “pathological demand avoidance,” two mental health conditions that share some similarities.

bookmark_borderFour years ago today

Posted on by Marissa

Four years ago today, after spending months lauding, worshipping, and deifying the perpetrators of riots in which the people I love were murdered, society decided to erupt in an orgy of vicious condemnation of a group of people like me who had the audacity to actually hold a protest expressing our views.

For the entire late spring and summer of 2020, in nearly every city and state, intolerant bullies held violent and hateful demonstrations during which they demanded that members of the majority never again have to encounter a person who is different from the norm, that people like me be obliterated from existence, that the only perspective acknowledged be their own, that all voices other than theirs be silenced. My “friends” responded to this by unanimously flooding social media with mindless expressions of solidarity with the bullies. Politicians responded by effusively praising the bullies, groveling at their feet, and falling all over each other in their eagerness to fulfill the bullies’ demands. Our country’s public art, public spaces, place names, and calendars were redone to ensure that people like me could no longer feel included, to erase every possible trace of non-majority perspectives, stories, and viewpoints.

On January 6, 2021, people like me protested. We were hurt and angry at the way that we had been treated, as anyone with even half a brain would be in our situation. After being subjected to months of the cruelest and most appalling treatment imaginable, finally we fought back. Our hurt and anger were 100% justified, as were all of our actions. My “friends” responded to this by expressing their disgust and complaining that it made them sick to their stomachs to see people like me standing up for ourselves and expressing our views. The pro-bullying activists who up until that point had been masquerading as the news media responded by viciously attacking and condemning us in the harshest terms imaginable. Live on air, the disgraceful excuses for human beings who called themselves political commentators called us idiots, morons, “traitors,” white supremacists, and worse.

Four years ago today, one of the people like me who participated in the protest, Ashli Babbitt, was murdered. And society responded not by criticizing the person who murdered her, but by condemning and ridiculing her for having participated in the protest in the first place. Society reacted by blaming her for her own murder.

Today, Donald Trump will be certified as president. Nothing can bring Ashli Babbitt back, but this day gives me a small bit of satisfaction. Nothing can truly undo the atrocity that was perpetrated against people like me four years ago, but this day does undo it a little bit. This day gives me, and all people like me, a victory. Because what the participants in the protest were trying to achieve four years ago, has actually happened. Donald Trump is going to be president. Today, people like me have won. And the mindless and intolerant society that decided to sadistically attack, condemn, shame, insult, and murder us, merely for expressing views that are different from those of the majority, lost.

To say that it serves them right, would be an understatement.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Rogan O’Handley (@dc_draino)

Rest in peace, Air Force Veteran Ashli Babbitt.

Say Her Name.

bookmark_border“It’s important to lead your life in such a way…”

Posted on by Marissa

“It’s important to lead your life in such a way that when you’re gunned down in public by an anonymous hitman on a New York City street the country at large doesn’t react like the Ewoks watching the second Death Star explode.”

So said an Instagram post that I recently came across.

Translation: It’s important to live your life so that the majority of people approve of you. 

This sentiment makes no logical sense. What is popular versus unpopular has nothing to do with what is right versus wrong. A person could live their life in a way that is 100% right and be disliked by everyone (and therefore have their death celebrated in the way that the author of the post describes), and a person could live their life in a way that is 100% wrong and be universally liked. What the country at large thinks has nothing to do with what is actually true. The majority of the population could have correct ideas about right and wrong, or they could have completely wrong ones.

What the author of the post is saying is that if a person is unpopular, then they must be bad. And that is not only logically incorrect, but also deeply hurtful to every person who is, or has ever been, unpopular. This is a category that includes myself, as an autistic person who has always had difficulty making friends and fitting in with my peers. The author of the post is saying that if a person’s death is celebrated, then that reflects negatively on the person who died. When in reality, it reflects negatively on the people doing the celebrating. 

This post is also deeply hurtful to Brian Thompson, the health insurance CEO who was murdered, as well as anyone who loved or cared about him, because the post implies that he deserved to be murdered. It implies that he, and not his murderer, is responsible for his death. It implies that the public’s celebration of his death reflects negatively on Thompson, when in reality, it reflects negatively on the people who are celebrating. 

The post should read: “It’s important to lead your life in such a way that you don’t murder innocent people.” Or: “It’s important to lead your life in such a way that you don’t sadistically and cruelly celebrate the deaths of innocent people.” Or even better: “It’s important to lead your life in such a way that you don’t make idiotic, mean-spirited posts that are both hurtful and logically incorrect.”

Someone left the following comment on the post: “It’s Christmas season, so what’s a better way to celebrate that to scrooge a bunch of rich people and show them that if they continue to live as they are, people will celebrate their deaths?”

I don’t know exactly what it means to “scrooge” someone (I know who Scrooge is, but I’ve never heard his name used as a verb). Regardless, this comment has the same logical and moral problems as the original post. It implies, erroneously, that the public’s celebration of a person’s death reflects negatively on the person who died, when in reality it reflects negatively on the people celebrating. And it condemns rich people in their entirety, which is cruel, mean-spirited, and bigoted because whether a person is rich or poor has nothing to do with whether they are good or bad. 

So yeah, great job by both the original poster and the commenter… NOT. If you were attempting to be nasty, logically incoherent, and classist bullies, then congratulations! You succeeded.