Marissa's writings about individual rights, justice, neurodiversity, and being different from the norm
The good news continues: an order by intolerant, authoritarian former mayor Jim Kenney to abolish Columbus Day in the city of Philadelphia has been overturned by a court. According to Judge Patricia A. McCollough of the Pennsylvania Commonwealth Court, the executive order that Kenney signed in 2021 “runs afoul of the separation of powers… and, accordingly, is invalid.”
Source: We The Italians
See also: column by Primo Magazine, with more details and quotes
According to the Italian American Alliance, the Massachusetts Republican Party has unanimously passed a resolution in support of Columbus Day:
“On Thursday July 31st, the Massachusetts Republican State Committee held their quarterly meeting. One of the resolutions to be voted on was offered by State Committeeman Nicholas Miceli. Mr. Miceli was unable to attend the meeting due to a prior commitment in Washington DC and so extended the honor of reading the Resolution to Virginia (Papa) Gardner, Chair of the National Chapter of the Italian American Alliance. The resolution was passed unanimously.”
The full text of the resolution is as follows:
Whereas: The Massachusetts Republican Party stands with the Commonwealth’s Italian Americans, Spanish Americans, Catholic Americans, historians, and other devoted citizens in steadfastly supporting preservation of the second Monday of October as “Columbus Day” which is currently the federally recognized holiday.
Whereas: The Massachusetts Republican Party acknowledges the history of the holiday. Columbus Day was instituted as part of an agreement between the United States and Italy to avoid a pending war in the aftermath of the horrific lynching of eleven Italians in New Orleans in 1891. Ever after, it has been commemorated for Italians to celebrate their heritage and collective contributions to the United States.
Whereas: The Knights of Columbus celebrate Columbus Day, knowing that the explorer brought Christianity to the New World – giving voice and representation to generations of Catholics.
Whereas: We already honor and celebrate the Indigenous community, on Native American Heritage Day the Friday after Thanksgiving in November.
Whereas: The Massachusetts Republican Party stands with the sentiment expressed by President Donald J. Trump who stated that he is “bringing Columbus Day back from the ashes.”
Be It Resolved: That the Massachusetts Republican Party stands in opposition to the repeal of the Federal Holiday of Columbus Day. The Massachusetts Republican Party will stand against canceling the historical figure who has served as a symbol of pride for many Americans and:
1. Recognize Columbus Day
2. Oppose the destruction of Columbus statues
3. Acknowledge the discrimination against Italian Americans
4. Oppose efforts to erase culture
5. Stand against hate of ALL ethnic groups
6. Celebrate both Italian and Indigenous peoples both on their respective holidays
Thank you to the MassGOP for taking a stand for what is right.
(source here)
No comments are really needed, other than to say that this is completely awesome. The reason why I voted for Trump is because of the prospect that he would make a statement / take a position exactly like this one. To some extent, the Trump administration hadn’t stood up for statues and historical figures to the extent that I hoped they would, instead focusing on other issues, but this makes me feel much more positively about the situation. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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White House Facebook post here
Fox News Facebook post here
The past few blog posts have been pretty negative. It is true that the past few months have not been a great time for me, with numerous setbacks and challenges that have exacerbated my autistic burnout and landed me in a negative headspace. However, things have not been 100% negative, so I wanted to take a break from the negativity and share some things that have brought a smile to my face:
This entertainment column in a local newspaper (called “Aldo, The One on One”) specifically mentioned Columbus Day and Christopher Columbus himself.
I wore this t-shirt to a community event, featuring a drawing of Christopher Columbus that I made. I knew from looking at the schedule for the event that there was going to be a “Land Acknowledgement,” something that I find both hurtful and potentially able to trigger a PTSD attack thanks to its connection with the ideology that is responsible for the traumatizing events involving statues. Because of this, I considered not going at all. But I ultimately decided to go, while wearing this t-shirt as a statement that Christopher’s life matters, and mine does as well.
After my co-workers caused a PTSD attack by calling Columbus Day, “Indigenous Peoples’ Day” (as explained in this blog post), I decided to wear a Columbus-themed pin the next two days, leading up to Columbus Day. I am not entirely sure what my company’s policy is regarding such pins, but I figured that it would be okay given that a handful of co-workers wear Palestine pins at work. Plus, many co-workers wear jewelry, headbands, and hair accessories in celebration of Halloween, Christmas, Valentine’s, Easter, the Fourth of July, and St. Patrick’s Day, and Columbus Day is a holiday just as those are. Ultimately, no one gave me a hard time. That could just be because the pin was too small for anyone to be able to see what it was, but I at least felt that I was making a statement in defense of Columbus.
Also on the Columbus theme, I took baby Christopher Columbus out of his display cabinet and did a photoshoot with him.
My American Girl dolls decided to organize a little get-together to celebrate Columbus Day.
After numerous weeks of lacking the time and energy to do so, I was able to take photos of the beautiful fall leaves, after all. These, for example, were spotted at a local park where I volunteered at an event with my local Republican committee:
(more photos from this park can be found here)
These were taken at the pond near my house:
(more photos from the pond can be found here)
And these were taken at a nearby cemetery:
(more photos from the cemetery can be found here)
I don’t have a photo for this next one, but things are looking up, for the moment at least, with my special interest in sports. The winter sports season has started, and the amount of coverage that NBC and its networks are showing appears to actually be manageable (knock on wood). I am currently caught up on figure skating, am almost caught up on horse racing, and am looking forward to the Breeders’ Cup, which is starting today. And miraculously, I have begun the laborious process of going through my backlog of Olympics recordings, something that until recently, made me nauseous to even think about doing. I watched the very beginning of the equestrian and swimming competitions, both of which involved an officiant ceremonially pounding the ground with a staff to signify the official opening of the venues. Even when watching the events three months later, it was beautiful to see the sun shining through the fog in the background of the early morning dressage competition at the Palace of Versailles.
On a different note, I came across these Trump stickers at the parking garage near my work:
Additionally, I finally got a Trump sign, which my little statues wanted to pose with:
Last but not least, my “Mini Lee” arrived at my house! This is a tiny replica of the Charlottesville statue of Robert E. Lee that was sickeningly destroyed. As you can see, I showed him to the bigger statues, and they think he is pretty cool. These are being sold by Monuments Across Dixie to raise money for a full-size recreation of the statue at a location to be determined. If you are interested in getting your own Mini Lee, more info can be found here.
The world often feels like it is trying to make it impossible for me to have a life that is worth living. But I will continue to fight for such a life, one small glimmer of hope at a time.
“European explorers ushered in a wave of devastation, violence, stealing land, and widespread disease.” – Kamala Harris
Unsurprisingly, Kamala Harris posted the above in a tweet on Columbus Day. Seeing statements like this is hurtful, exhausting, and demoralizing. I am sick and tired of being made to feel that my very existence is something that I need to apologize for. I did not choose my skin color. I did not choose my ancestry. I did not chose to be born, and I did not choose which country or continent to be born in. And I don’t deserve to be shamed or humiliated for these characteristics, as Harris has done with this statement.
Perhaps European explorers did usher in those things that Harris claims. But honestly… who cares? What is the point of mentioning this, and what is Harris trying to accomplish by doing so?
European explorers lived multiple centuries ago. Neither they, nor their alleged victims, are alive. I certainly didn’t cause the atrocities listed by Harris (nor did anyone who is alive today); therefore I do not deserve to be punished for them. The only thing accomplished by harping on and on about the alleged atrocities of European explorers is to inflict shame and humiliation on people like me, who didn’t do anything wrong. To inflict suffering and punishment on people who don’t deserve it. It’s disgusting that anyone – let alone a major political party’s candidate for president – would consider this a good thing to do.
Octavian destroyed the lives of Antony and Cleopatra, and the English army burned Joan of Arc alive at the stake. Why do Harris and other Democratic politicians not go on and on about that? Why does our society care so much about the alleged devastation, violence, theft of land, and disease inflicted on indigenous people, but not care a whit about the suffering that I’ve experienced going through life as an autistic person being held to neurotypical standards of success?
It’s because, in the eyes of Democratic politicians, not everyone’s pain matters. Not everyone’s experiences and perspectives matter. But rather only the pain, only the experiences and perspectives, of groups deemed (arbitrarily and randomly) to be “oppressed.” In the eyes of society, indigenous peoples’ pain matters, but not mine. Black people’s pain matters, but not mine. Queer and trans people’s pain matters, but not mine. It’s like a clique of popular kids in middle school. Only those people deemed “cool” enough to be in the clique matter. There is only empathy, recognition, acknowledgement, and inclusion for those deemed “cool” enough to be in the clique, and not for anyone else.
As an autistic person, I’ve been told all my life that everything I do is wrong. I’ve never been deemed “cool” enough to be in any clique. I’ve grown up feeling that I need to apologize for my tone of voice, the words I use, my body language, my hobbies, the way that I dress, the way that I do my hair… the list is endless. And now I am being told that, because I am descended from European explorers, I need to apologize for existing in the US.
No. No more. I am sick and tired of living in a society that acknowledges everyone’s pain, everyone’s experiences, everyone’s perspectives, except for my own. It is past time that I be included, that I be shown empathy and recognition, that my struggles be acknowledged and my accomplishments celebrated, rather than me being condemned for immutable characteristics over which I have no control. Harris should apologize for the intolerance and lack of empathy that she has demonstrated with this statement.
Today, my heart hurts. I feel exhausted, drained, and demoralized. I feel weak and tired, my brain feels dull, foggy, and slow, and my body feels heavy.
I have not been blogging as much as I would like. For the entire month of September, I did not blog at all, and so far in October, I have done so only sporadically. This is beyond frustrating, because there are so many thoughts in my brain that I want and need to express. But I can’t. I simply do not have the time, or the energy. Things have not been going well for me. I have been experiencing autistic burnout for four and a half years, and for the past two and a half months it has been particularly severe.
The Olympics marked the beginning of this bad stretch of time. Sports have traditionally been one of my biggest special interests, so this was something that I had been eagerly anticipating. But NBC’s coverage decisions meant that I was unable to watch all of the coverage that I needed to. There was simply too much of it. And so what I thought would be both a challenging and exciting experience turned into a nightmare of overstimulation, information overload, mental exhaustion, and sleep deprivation. I managed to alter my goals and mindset regarding the Olympics, allowing me to endure the experience. This was extremely difficult for me as an autistic person, and is something that I am proud of myself for doing. But being proud of oneself for accomplishing something is not the same as having a positive experience. The Olympics turned out to be something that I needed to endure, rather than something enjoyable and rewarding. And that is not great, to put it mildly. Not only was I subjected to an inordinate amount of stress and exhaustion, but I was denied the rewarding experience that I was picturing and expecting.
Also starting around this time, I began to feel vaguely physically unwell, which continues to this day. I have been suffering from a runny and stuffy nose, sore and scratchy throat, cough, itchy and watery eyes, headaches, earaches, and low-grade fevers. These symptoms come and go, waning and giving me hope that they will finally be gone, only come roaring back the following day. These symptoms haven’t reached a level of severity that would cause me to miss work or cancel any activities that I had committed to, but they have caused me to be constantly miserable. It has really taken a toll on my mental health and quality of life.
Throughout August and September, I also had an inordinate amount of difficult interpersonal situations put onto my plate to deal with. Texts and messages that I didn’t know how to respond to, uncomfortable phone calls that I had to make, requests for social get-togethers that I knew I wouldn’t be able to do but that were excruciatingly painful to say no to. I have made the decision to quit socializing, because friendships simply don’t work for me given my autism and history of trauma involving interpersonal situations. But people continue to ask me to socialize with them, and every time they do, the wound is ripped open and I essentially am forced to make the painful decision to quit socializing anew. These situations have been emotionally exhausting and have used up a lot of mental resources.
Because of my overall level of exhaustion, I have been sleeping very late, even when I go to bed relatively early. As a result, I essentially don’t have time to do anything other than getting ready for work, and working. I don’t have time to take walks, I don’t have time to run errands, and I don’t have time for writing. Such an enormous amount of time is spent sleeping, that there is no time for anything else. Despite this, I wake up exhausted, and it is painful to wrench myself out of bed. In other words, even this enormous amount of time spent sleeping is not enough. Most likely, no amount of sleep would be enough to make me feel refreshed and well-rested. Normally, I enjoy walking around the pond near my house, in the woods, and in the center of town, looking at the beautiful fall foliage and photographing it. But I haven’t really had time to do this. The fall season is passing me by, and I’m not able to enjoy or experience it in any meaningful sense. This is a depressing way to live. In fact, I would argue that it does not quality as truly living, but merely as existing.
I’ve also had numerous workdays get screwed up. My work is usually a source of stability and routine. I can focus on something concrete, such as ringing up customers’ groceries at the cash register, bagging the groceries, collecting shopping carts in the parking lot, or stocking groceries in a section of the store. But I’ve been subjected to various instances that have turned my job into a source of dysregulation and chaos. On multiple occasions, I’ve been trapped with slow-walking and talkative co-workers during the commute home, causing me to miss the train and preventing me from doing Italian lessons on my phone. One night, the staff was asked to stay an hour late (not a problem in itself) and a co-worker pressured me into getting a ride home with another co-worker rather than taking the train as I usually do (apparently thinking, for some reason, that the fact that it was an hour later made it unsafe to take the train). Another night, the manager didn’t give clear instructions, so I didn’t know what section of the store I was supposed to work on or when I was supposed to stop. And another night, too much frozen food was ordered, so I ended my shift by pushing boxes of food with all my might in a (futile) attempt to force them into the completely packed walk-in freezer.
Worst of all, when my manager was explaining how the Columbus Day holiday would affect projected sales, one of my co-workers interrupted to “correct” the holiday name to “Indigenous Peoples’ Day.” When my manager responded that people could call the holiday whatever they wanted to, another co-worker interjected, “As long as you don’t call it Columbus Day! Anything but Columbus Day!” If you know anything of my feelings about Christopher Columbus, you won’t be surprised to learn that this caused me to be flooded with excruciating, agonizing pain. And it brings me to the next cause of this recent exacerbation of autistic burnout: Columbus Day.
Given that I love Christopher Columbus more than anything in the world, Columbus Day should be the best day of the year for me, or at least a better than average one. But this year at least, it was horrible. I attended and sold my artwork at an Italian festival, which should have been fun and exciting. However, I had to stay up late the night before in order to get my work ready, it was cold, rainy, and windy (all things that severely bother my sensory sensitivities), and a friend came by to sit at my table and help break it down at the end of the event (despite the fact that I had previously told her, as nicely as possible, that I did not need or want her help). This all amounted to an uncomfortable, angering, and draining experience. Instead of celebrating and honoring the man I love, I spent the day coping with an experience that was exhausting, out of control, and chaotic.
Plus, as has been the case every year starting in 2020, various people, companies, and organizations used the occasion to attack Columbus, and therefore myself. I am too mentally exhausted and in pain to describe these things in detail, but the culprits include various cities and towns, American Gril (yes, the doll company), and every museum and park in Boston. Every time I see the words, “Indigenous Peoples’ Day,” I am filled with agonizing pain. There are no words that can adequately express the hurt of seeing other people’s perspectives validated, suffering acknowledged, cultures celebrated, and voices heard, while my perspective is dismissed, my suffering ignored, my culture shamed and condemned, and my words ridiculed. No matter how hard I try, I cannot force others to listen to my ideas, understand my point of view, or empathize with my pain. When you combine this with all the other things that I’ve described in this blog post, I feel beaten down. My spirit is crushed. So many things that used to give me pleasure have been taken away, contaminated, ruined. There is almost nothing that I can direct my time, energy, or attention towards that does not cause excruciating pain. It is difficult for me to see a path forward.
I am trying to keep the faith. I am trying to remind myself that I have felt this way before and have survived, and have returned to a state of happiness again. I am trying to remind myself that at some point in the future, my body will have more energy, and my brain will once again feel sharp. But right now, that isn’t the case. Right now, everything feels heavy, dark, and hopeless. Right now, everything hurts.
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For the past four years, for reasons that I probably don’t need to elaborate on, Columbus Day has been an occasion for turmoil and emotional upheaval.
The day started out with the promise of more of the same. The never-ending list of atrocities, of heartless attacks against the thing that makes my life worth living, was weighing on me as it so often does. The horrific images and vicious words made it difficult to sleep, as they so often do, and I woke up later than I planned, with my brain feeling foggy and my limbs feeling like lead. I missed the bus, and after walking to the train station, with ice cold wind ripping at my clothing and sunlight shining directly into my eyes, I missed the train and had to wait a long time for the next one.
Finally, I arrived in Boston with flowers and a note. My plan was to visit Christopher Columbus, say hello, and take a few photos of him. Then, if I couldn’t physically go up to him to leave the flowers and note, which I figured would probably be the case because he is located at the Knights of Columbus building which is enclosed by a fence, I would head to his former location, where a heartbreaking empty pedestal still stands, and leave the flowers and note atop the pedestal. I wasn’t certain whether I even wanted to go through with this plan, because I was running so far behind schedule, and because seeing the empty pedestal and the people happily going about their business around it, is just so painful.
To my surprise, the gate was open. There were a bunch of men standing around in the parking lot, who I assumed to be members of the Knights of Columbus. So I summoned the courage to walk through it and go up to them.
“Sorry to interrupt,” I began, “but I’m a big fan of your statue, and I was wondering if I could leave some flowers for him.”
One of the Knights responded in the affirmative and even offered to take my picture with Christopher.
I left the note and the flowers, and wished them all a happy Columbus Day.
I am glad that the Knights were so kind and welcoming, and also that I happened to stop by while they were there, giving me an opportunity to leave my gift for Chris.
Chris means so much to me, that it is strange to think that I had never actually gotten this close to him before, or had my picture taken with him.
At this moment, my heart is full.
Happy Columbus Day.
I celebrate individuals who are remarkable, not mundane and ordinary.
I celebrate courage, not cowardice.
I celebrate independence of thought, not mindless conformity to the dictates of social norms and political correctness.
I celebrate things that are meaningful, not meaningless.
I celebrate things that are interesting, not bland, dull, and gray.
I celebrate people who stand up to bullies. I don’t celebrate bullies.
I celebrate a beautiful man – in body, mind, and spirit – not those who cruelly smash and rip and tear his body to pieces.
I don’t celebrate people who strangle, drown, burn, and lynch others for being quirky and eccentric and different and thinking for themselves.
I don’t celebrate people who inflict horrific and excruciating pain.
I don’t celebrate the deliberate infliction of harm for no other reason than thinking you are superior to other people because you are part of the majority and they are part of the minority.
I don’t celebrate contemptuous, self-righteous intolerance.
I don’t celebrate people who seek to obliterate the cultures, perspectives, viewpoints, and stories of others.
I side with people who have actually been harmed, oppressed, discriminated against, wronged, traumatized. Not with people who just pretend that they have.
Therefore, I celebrate Columbus Day, not Indigenous Peoples’ Day.
If that makes me a white supremacist, so be it.
The above is a social media post made by an organization called the Red Hawk Native American Council, urging people to contact New York City Mayor Eric Adams to ask to him to inflict harm and pain on autistic people by abolishing Columbus Day.
Let’s rebut the points made in this post one by one:
Columbus Day does not perpetuate a narrative that erases anything. Abolishing it and replacing it with Indigenous Peoples’ Day, on the other hand, erases the existence of people like me – an autistic person whose special interest is historical figures. Abolishing Columbus Day sends the message that my interests are shameful and that my thoughts, feelings, experiences, and perspectives do not matter. This erases my existence.
Additionally, contrary to what is stated in the post, Columbus Day honors the existence of people who are different, are non-conformist, and think for themselves, a category that includes autistic people like me. But yes, the existence of autistic people is totally the same thing as “colonization, exploitation, and violence”…. NOT.
To officially recognize Indigenous Peoples’ Day instead of Columbus Day is to obliterate a day honoring people who are different, non-conformist, and think for themselves. This is by its very nature the exact opposite of taking a “bold stance” and the exact opposite of demonstrating “commitment to inclusivity.”
To take a stance against the honoring of people who are different, non-conformist, and think for themselves, is to take a stance in favor of sameness and mindless conformity. And such a stance is the antithesis of a bold one.
Additionally, to determine that people who are different, non-conformist, and think for themselves no longer deserve to be honored in a society is the antithesis of a commitment to inclusivity. It is actually a commitment to discrimination and exclusion.
Given that Columbus is being attacked, destroyed, and obliterated across the entire country and much of the world, joining these attacks is the exact opposite of being bold and the exact opposite of being inclusive. Joining in with a politically favored, bullying majority against an unpopular minority is not bold, but cowardly. It is not inclusive, but intolerant and discriminatory. It is the epitome of mindless conformity.
Other than that, their argument makes perfect sense.
Replacing Columbus Day with Indigenous Peoples’ Day sets an example for future generations all right… a bad example. It sets an example of trampling on the rights of autistic and otherwise “different” people, hurting us merely for being different, and telling us that our thoughts, feelings, and perspectives do not matter and that we shouldn’t be allowed to exist. In other words, it sets an example of cowardice, mindless conformity, discrimination, bullying, exclusion, intolerance, cruelty, meanness, and actively inflicting harm and pain on innocent people who have done nothing wrong.
I’m not sure why anyone would consider this a good thing.